{This is in response to a prompt from Friday Fictioneers, run by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The challenge is to write a 100-word piece based on the photo. The photo, in this case, reminded me of Montessori or Charlotte Mason educational philosophies, and the story “naturally” followed. Thank you for the prompt, Rochelle, and thanks again, everyone,for stopping by to read!}
Amy had slogged through second grade. Suffering.
But not alone.
Toddler on each hip, Mom cursed the cafeteria chaos, the car-line cluster.
Amy’s head hung: Mom’s drooped. Amy sleepwalked to the car: Mom mainlined caffeine. Amy sulked after school: Mom squandered grocery money on drive-thru.
Macaroni-and-Cheese Day was the last straw. Processed cheese, dripping through her curls, chocolate milk on her jumper. No one saw a thing.
Today, the girls bounced from bed. Nightgowns swirled, as they twittered and giggled.
They poked the inert mass. “Wake up! It’s time for homeschool!”
Mom’s eyes stayed shut.
But her mouth was smiling.
For an essay exploring what progress in homeschooling means, when a child is differently abled, read Justifying a Home School Year.
Wonderful read. Home-school mothers will relate to this.
Poor Mom. She definitely has her hands full. Public schools are definitely filled with chaos. I enjoyed the comments too. It’s nice to read the different perceptions.
Homeschooling has it’s own set of challenges. The reality of the frenzy of public school is nicely portrayed.
I think they are blessed that homeschooling is an option… but I firmly believe that schools should be better so everybody can get a good education there .
I couldn’t have said it better.
I liked how you bought out the pressure and stress on the family. Looks like she is trying to do the best she can for her struggling child. Nice one.
Thanks subroto!
After reading through many of the comments, I had to go back and read your story again. I wouldn’t have used the word “sloppy,” because it seems to indicate carelessness and lack of energy. To the contrary, I felt you drew your characters very clearly. The colons bothered me a bit, because I’m an English teacher. We’re just picky 🙂 However, reading your explanations, I understood that you were going for comparison and contrast, and I think it worked.
We could engage in a long debate about homeschooling, but I’m glad that didn’t happen. I know several homeshooling families. Some are doing it brilliantly. Others struggle. There is always the K-12 option which is public school online. I’m glad there are options, and that we still have the freedom here in the USA to choose how we want to educate our children.
Thanks granonine! I guess the colons were a stretch.
As for education it is nice to have choice, and we in our family have chosen different options, including public school and virtual school, to suit our different kids.
I don’t mean this story as any kind of indictment against public schools. Public school teachers work harder than most people, and for less pay, and still do a fabulous job in very trying, often ridiculously micromanaged conditions.
Every homeschool family will tell you it’s a personal decision they do not take lightly. And kudos to you for teaching English. Some of my very favorite teachers taught English!
Made perfect sense to me Andrea. The pressures of life and on the family’s time were damaging their quality of life and hopefully that will improve when they stay at home to learn. Well told and let’s hope Mum keeps that smile 🙂
Great descriptions. Well told!
I think you showed the reason for homeschooling very well. Sounds like a win, win situation.
This really struck a chord with me! The frantic pace of life for working parents and kids at school, no time to just ‘be’. Mainlining caffeine to keep those flagging spirits up. Really well written,
Thank you kirst! We do ask alot of parents these days.
With the mess public education is right now, there is no surprise both parent and child just zombie their way through. Socialization is important, but so is a good education that is not a drudge. Good story.
Thanks Stu! The important thing is to get a good education, one way or the other.:)
I, too, thought the fragmented sentences were a good way of conveying the frenetic pace of life when you have a school-age child and two toddlers. And you described the girls’ excitement – and their mom’s response – with great empathy.
I must say, I find it hard to conceive of public schooling that is so atrocious that home-schooling would seem like the easier option – except for cases where the child has special needs that simply can’t be met by regular school.
Thank you. I know, homeschooling is definitely not for everyone. And while you avoid some of the downsides of public school, it has its own challenges. I’m glad the choppy style worked for you. The story was definitely minced finely, once I finished editing!
Thank you prior! What a thoughtful and comprehensive analysis of your reading process. I am flattered you spent so much time here. I know how to fix the threading problem so Ill switch that tonight.
I will be floating on air for a while, repeating to myself your comment ” I felt her smile.”
The colons were merely meant to juxtapose the suffering of child and corresponding suffering of mother. Perhaps it could be done better using another device.
I do understand the point of view that as a parent, one should tough it out and perhaps the parent or child seems whiny from that perspective. Homeschooling is also not approved of to the same degree everywhere and that general feeling may turn people off to a story sympathetic to the subject.
Thanks again!
Well I am 100% for homeschooling but it is not always respected – and so throes who do it need lots of grace for societal opinions based on ignorance
Second – it all families can homeschool – whether for ability to handle the material
And overall goals they have or just because they need to work – and then some students might really need the more traditional school. Then some families find that they homeschool for so long and then do school a while and then back to HS
But the truth is that (as I am sure you know) it is not always easy to go in and out of the mainstream system and so we pick a path and make it work And hopefully pick the one with the best perks for quality of life!
And in the rat race – we sometimes miss “living” or have such drained and parched demeanors – a change is needed! And that is what you depicted in your words – the leading up to this decision –
And the colons worked fine for me – I was just curious as it was new and I think I use dashes or semicolons but I get how it fits
Just FYI – this is the first time I am at your blog via mobile and it is really tough to read comments because the setting s for comments are too threaded – does that make sense
Prior I think this is fixed now. Let me know if the problem persists!
I think u need to limit the number of threads you allow ?
Ok ill check it tomorrow. Thanks!
Have s nice night
????
I liked the brilliant structure of the sentences – well done –
The alliteration is enjoyable when well done (and to me it is when it is not overdone and when it fits)
cursed the cafeteria chaos, the car-line cluster.
And I started reading the comments real quick and then stopped and knew I had to read it here first – so I just read sloppy from the first comment – it did prime me a bit and so as I read –
I thought two things – I did not see sloppy writing and I did not see sloppy characters –
Later I read the comment fully and I completely know what the reader meant by sloppy – and I was the other comments (the ones here so far) and nice –
However –
Sloppy was not a word that I would have assigned here.
I feel the survival mode, the exhaustion, and then the drive thru for dinner (processed cheese food)
So I felt the wake up call here – the boot in the head about quality of life – and as you know the demands of home educating will be many and challenges will
Come and go – but as rochrlle said – it might not work for everyone but can work for many and can be a life-giving alternative …
I felt her smile –
Back to the writing style – I was curious about the use of colons and need to read it again – I was too preoccupied with thinking about that word sloppy
Dear Andrea,
I hope homeschool is a viable option. It is for many. For me the ‘sloppiness’ of the characters illustrated the stress public school is putting on this family. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle. My focus was definitely less on characterization than on a recounting of the factors which might push a family to go in this direction.
That’s one way to beat the school run!
Not looking good. Sloppy, actually! Any reason?
Thanks for your feedback Abhijit. Could you be more specific?
Is it the picture or formatting or something about the writing in the post itself? If formatting, is the problem visible on phone or desk top view? I am still working out some of the kinks of my new theme. I also found that this photo resisted resizing for some reason.
If its the writing, please tell me what you found to be ill-considered. I really do learn alot from hearing your perspective!
Not the writing. Characters I felt were sloppy. May be it was a different way of looking.
You’re right, I did rely a lot on the reader to connect the dots on the characters. A product of energetic editing, I think. There were supposed to be three kids, one in or just having completed 2nd grade, and two toddlers. All girls. And the Mom of course.
Sometimes when I start with a longer piece, I end up cutting essentials. Thanks for pointing it out! In situations like this, this forum is so useful. It is hard to proof your own work for style and characterization, especially when the turn-around time is short, because that requires approaching the work with a blank slate. Funny, my initial title was Tabula Rasa.:)
Thank you for such detailed explanation.