{This is a response to a photo prompt from Friday Fictioneers. The task is to write 100 words based on the prompt. This reminds me of a Minnesota landscape, near and dear to my heart, the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness. It’s right in the pointy Northeast corner area of Minnesota, hugging the Ontario border. Thanks for the prompt, and thanks for reading!}
Minnesota extended a long, delicate finger, and caressed its kissing cousin, Ontario.
Mother Nature ruled, in these woods. Dense. Impenetrable. Wild.
In the summer chill, Aunt Katerina and basket went Old World mushroom-foraging. Leaving us children to fend for ourselves.
Penelope and Richard ping-ponged their canoe, recklessly down the rapids. We teenagers skinny-dipped, excitedly. Tiny cousin Rachel, barely eight, walked right up to a bear. Her bell tinkled. It lumbered off.
Everyone knew to wear a bell, in these woods. To let Danger know, you were coming.
But you wore no bell.
And no bell could protect us, from you.
Didn’t see that coming! You lulled me in then pulled the rug out.
Ouch, what a punch in that final line. You set us up with nostalgic memories and then reveal the darkness beneath them. Nicely done
Thank you.
?
Set us up good and proper, didn’t you? The imagination runs wild!
Thanks granonine!
Oh… maybe danger is always there, and we take those bear bells, when there are worse things around.
You may be right Bjorn!
Beautifully described, I enjoyed your story very much, especially the ending. Nice!!
Thankyou Brenda!
Great last line delivered perfectly suddenly
Thanks Michael!
Terrific change of pace and mood at the end there. Loved it.
Thank you Sandra!
Dear Andrea,
That last line was a left to the solar plexus. I can only imagine who “you” is. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle! Hope you’ll recover!
All I could think of was a freak snowstorm coming to ruin their day. Lovely.
Good idea!
Well done. You certainly captured a sinister aspect of the wild here.
Thank you Jilly! I think the villain they need to worry about may be all too human.
Very descriptive.
Thank you Neel!
Just wrote a long comment, and now I can’t see it! Anyway – I said you well and truly lulled me into a false sense of security (among other things.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Sorry! If you have more than one link in your post my settings will send you back to me for approval! Security and all that. ? no offense intended! Got both comments.
Also since Im in the US i usually am asleep when most people start commenting, so forgive my delay. Today’s also Thanksgiving so dont know how on top of things I’ll be!!
Eek! You well and truly lulled me into a false sense of security with that! Nicely done, Andrea. And co-incidentally, my story is based in Canada and features a bear. Seems that many of us saw the bear connection. 🙂
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Can’t wait to read it!
Nice misdirection to a very sinister ending.
The misdirection was anything but intentional. Sometimes lines just come and seem to fit, like a missing jigsaw piece. Glad it worked for you.
Underlying menace in those last lines – well done.
Thanks Iain. I hadn’t planned for it to end this way. But those lines appeared as I was cutting down from 200 or so and seemed to solve my editorial issues. Two birds with one stone, so speak.
A grim end to quite an idyllic tale.
Or a beginning. Im afraid I may have cheated by turning the spigot off, just as the plot was getting interesting.
That took a sinister turn!
Yes Neil. But I did give you a few hints: kissing cousins, leaving children to fend for themselves, recklessness, teens naked together, the close shave with a bear. What could possibly go wrong?
Very nice story. You describe each event so well, I felt I was almost there. Then came the danger or something endangered by humans. What happened?
Thank you Abhijit. Im happy you were transported to this beautiful corner of Minnesota. Perhaps Ive just been in the suburbs too long, but I always find wild places a little sinister.
Did not see that coming. Nice set up
Thanks Stu
Oh! How beautifully you start, lulling us into a wonderful family-scape and whammo! Pulled the land out from under our feet.
Well done, Andrea!
Thinking of how pretty it is up at the Canadian border as I look at your lovely photo. The ending did come off rather harshly didn’t it!
It did!
(This picture was taking in Woodstock, NY 😉 )
Haha. All I know is, it sure ain’t Florida. ?
LOL!