{This is a street scene from the beachiest place I know, Key West. It’s a response–a late one–to Friday Fictioneers, a 100-word prompt with the photo above.
I hope you will indulge me, in my gratuitous train metaphor. Henry Flagler built train tracks, from Jacksonville south, down along the East coast of Florida. All the way out to Key West. I can’t write about the island, without some reference, to one of Florida History’s most interesting personages. Of course, Ernest Hemingway, a long-time Key West resident, also springs to mind. Seems apropos to mention him, the premiere whittler of words, during such a cut-throat exercise in word attrition, as this.
Hope you enjoy reading! Thanks for the prompt, and for stopping by!}
We bustled along blazing streets. Past nautical-roped barrooms. Past psychedelic signs, for Madam the Medium. Carrying bags full of seashells.
MeeMaw, Maya and me.
In February, Key West steamed ahead, cloying and clammy as summer. In fall, it trailed behind, like a caboose. Its November, slothful, as its August.
“Careful Maya! Bougainvillea pricks!”
I steered the four-year-old away. Dodging the regal, but jagged, spray of magenta.
Maya pouted. Frustrated, in her fascination.
MeeMaw, in her mu-mu, clicked her tongue.
Taking a drag through dry lips, she rasped, “You’ll spoil her. Let her cut herself. Then, she’ll know how to bleed.”
Nice picture. Mother, grandmother and daughter out collecting sea shells on a hot summer afternoon.
Yes, Abhjit,you can get some shells at the beaches, though they may be picked over. But in Key West they also have shell shops for the tourists,with every shell known to man. A paradise for a four-year-old!
I LOVE this one Andrea! So alive and well written. That final line seems like the link to a longer story! Wonderful!
Thank you Dawn. That’s the best kind of compliment!
Wow, that memaw is harsh!
I know Dawn, things are done a little differently these days!
A bit of tough love – best way to teach them! 🙂
You brought that little family group to life, Andrea. I could see them walking along. Well written. 🙂 — Suzanne
Thanks Suzanne.
A beautifully evocative scene. I love the train metaphors, and the names, and the characters. So much is encapsulated in this brief story.
Thanks Margaret. Quite an inspiring place, Key West.
That’s a lovely and fascinating read. I’m with Rochelle here, four years is a bit early to learn bleeding, I’m for protecting a bit longer.
You’ve once again painted a vivid picture for us. And I agree with Grandma, especially if the child has been told several times not to touch something that will harm her. Within reason, of course 🙂
Yes, granonine, I can think of a few radioactive or acidic substances, that might warrant a parent’s intervention, no matter whom you ask. ?
Great characterisation in this story and I loved those closing lines.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thanks. Gotta honor Papa Hemingway. ?
That’s tough love alright!
And here was me thinking that “MeeMaw” was a comedy nickname invented by The Big Bang Theory 🙂
I think that’s where I got it! Attitudes toward children have definitely changed over time, as well as attitudes toward age in general.
Well-written slice of life, Andrea. I like the setting and “Dodging the regal, but jagged, spray of magenta.”
Thanks msj! Bougainvillea is a gorgeous, but child-hating plant with spikey stems. The pink part is actually not a flower but a bract. I’ve killed several through a combination of forgetfulness, freezes and ineptitude. ?
Well if there are kids in the vicinity, good going! 😉
Dear Andrea,
Four’s a little young to learn how to bleed. I’d be protecting her. 😉 Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. There is plenty of time to learn such things.
By the way I didnt see an inlinkz code this time.
I took the code off. It was causing problems. It seems everyone’s able to link without it. ?
Ok. Thanks!
I loved this! It brought back memories of my one and only trip to Key West with my husband over a 4th of July weekend (bad timing, for sure). And the family drama was perfect! You rose to the prompt challenge very well.
Thank you Liz. Key West is pretty unforgettable. Lovely in the “snowbird” months of spring and fall!
July might be a bit hot though. It’s already passing 100 degrees F in the northern part of the state, now. And tomorrow’s just the first of June!
These are the months when Floridians hole up for the duration. ?
I’ve never been to Key West, but my grandparents loved it. They owned a house there for years, which they rented out and planned to retire to, but couldn’t because of limited medical facilities on the island.
We have friends who go down often but i havent been in 20+ years.
I forgot to say: Well done, Andrea!
Thanks Brad!
I’m with Meemaw’s tough love approach
Duly noted, Neil. ?