{This is a response to Friday Fictioneers with a photo courtesy of our host, Rochelle. We are to write 100 words, inspired by the photo, a task easier said, than done. For those not familiar with US high school customs, a Sadie Hawkins dance is one where the girls ask the guys. Thanks, as always, for the prompt, and also for taking the time to read!}
Sadie Hawkins Week. Estuary High was a-buzz.
Rhona veritably tingled, phone number crumpled in her fat little fist.
Hadn’t He smiled at her, once?
“You call first!”
“No, you!”
Rhona and Cassie wrestled over the payphone receiver. Phoning a boy, within their parents’ earshot, was unthinkable.
“H-Hello?” Rhona stuttered.
“Yes?” His voice was velvety, luxurious.
“Bryan…I was wondering…the dance…” Complete sentences were impossible.
Silence.
“I’d love to, Rhona, but…I’ve got a date.”
He’d love to!
Rhona hung up, smiling. Had such a specimen said yes to her…
That act, that glittering grace, would only have served to gild the lily.
quite a realistic depiction of all the anxiety that goes with that kind of thing. It must have happened fairly long ago..pay phone
Nicely done – the dialogue sounds so true to life.
Thank you Francine!
That ‘I’d love to’ is almost better than a yes! As Penny said, insightful writing Andrea
Thanks Lynn!
“Twixt the optimist and the pessimist…”:)
My pleasure 🙂
Oh… that slim hope… but time will pass, and this will be an embarrassing memory..
but Brian will grow fat and loathsome
Haha. One can only hope so!
I chuckled and remembered the line in Dumb & Dumber where Lloyd asked the girl what his odds were and she said about a million to one. His response, “So there is a chance!”
Exactly. The heart wants what it wants, but it doesn’t get what it wants every time.
Loved every hand-selected word to tell this story…
and enjoyed the comments here – 😉
Thanks so much for your time and attention prior!
I love them both, her for her courage and him for being polite. I’ve known boys who would have laughed and sneered. Lovely story.
Thanks gah.
That’s a memory she’ll carry with her a long, long time.
Oh the agonies of being young!
Takes me back…a long time ago for me, lol.
Yup. Haven’t seen a payphone in quite a while. With cellphones these conversations can take place well out of the parents’ earshot–but that leads to its own issues. ?
Sorry plaridel. I know I used the phrase “gilding the lily” rather awkwardly: what i meant was, that in Rhona’s lovesick starry eyes, Bryan was already so beautiful, that anything he did or said, however good or generous, could not possibly improve upon the perfection she already saw in him. Hope that helps!
methinks, something got lost in translation. 🙂
What a gentleman! And I hope her self-confidence grows as she gets older….
I’ve been guilty of selective hearing in just such a situation before. It didn’t end well 🙂
Yes. I’m sure if she pursues him despite this letdown, he might not be so subtle next time!
Growing up is awkward and at times uncomfortable. Good for her for calling him. I enjoyed the voices of your characters, nicely done!
Thanks Brenda.
Not exactly what she wanted to hear, but at least part of what he said made her smile. Maybe next time.
Click to read my FriFic tale!
Bryan had put her down gently and Rhonda has something to be happy about. May be if he was a bit earlier.
Right. She can always tell herself that it was her lateness, rather than anything else about her, that made him say no. Quite face-saving!
Pay phone – now there’s a flashback! Story reminds of Sweet Valley… Loved those books.
I must have missed that series. Sounds like it was pretty successful so I’ll take it as a compliment!
Dear Andrea,
At least the boy has some tact. When I was in high school we called it the WPA dance. Women Pay All. That one backfired for me when the hunk I asked turned out to be a controlling jerk. He was nice looking, though. 😉 Good story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Risky business. ?
Such a gentle let-down for her. The boy will go far, and I hope she is luckier soon.
Indeed. Quite considerate. Compassion is not always a developed character trait in teenage boys. ?
There’s such an old world charm to this story
Thank you anurag.
I think might be awkward! Well-crafted, a great read.
No faint heart won fair man! ?
Sometimes it’s best to hear just exactly the answer we want to hear. Other times it can lead to trouble!
True. She did hang onto the part of his response that made her feel good. I think self-preservation, in matters of the heart, is a good and necessary instinct!
Oh, this is so real! The agony of making the call, the sweaty, chubby fist, the rosy haze at his polite refusal. Excellent.
Thanks granonine! I think many of us can relate to this moment.
This is beautifully made. A comedy of errors, and so true not only of love-lorn schoolgirls
Glad to hear this kind of sweet sorrow is not limited exclusively to women!
Beautifully constructed, Andi. To summarise Rhona’s lack of physical attraction with the phrase “fat little fist” is brilliant. The insight that she is happy with the formal politeness of “I’d love to – but” is very penetrating. Well written. Kudos!
Thanks Penny. I think that love-at-a-distance like this, tends to be a kind of hero worship, where the hero can do no wrong. ?