{This is a response to What Pegman Saw, a 150-word writing prompt. Pegman takes us to a different location each week, via Google Maps. This week, we are in Middle Torch Key, in my home state of Florida. For those who aren’t familiar with the term, a “double-wide’ is a trailer or manufactured home, that is twice as wide as trailers usually are. Thanks for the prompt and for coming by to read!}
Paper thin, and flat as a pancake. Kevin’s little slice of Heaven.
He moved to Torch Key after Afghanistan, when his benefits kicked in. Coincidentally, Aunt Laura died, leaving him the double-wide.
He only had to build a ramp.
Granted, the sand was a nuisance. When the wind kicked up, plowing deep furrows in Astrologia Road, his wheels got mired in it.
Luckily, Kevin knew his particulates. Dust, carried on the simoom wind, hot enough to cause heat stroke in a single Kandahar gust. Tiny shards of metal, packed ever so tight, hidden within roadside bombs.
As he sweated and struggled in the sand, sometimes he’d hear bullets, whizzing past his ears.
Then he’d remember.
He’d left Afghanistan behind. Along with his legs.
Not a bad trade-off.
And should a hurricane come, and wash this all away, at least it would be water, and not dust, that did him in.
Dang it! I’m too late to say much more than the others have said. I know a couple of Viet Nam vets …. Nough said.
If it meets with your approval, despite your familiarity with the subject, I’m delighted!
I note a thorough understanding of the conditions. Or sufficient imagination to make me believe
Glad I’m not too far off the mark.
🙂
I concur with the comments of your other readers. This story packs a powerful punch in a very short space. Well done!
Thanks so much Liz!
Great story! Such wonderful and authentic-feeling nuance in Kevin. The details of his world really nail his circumstance. He has a pragmatism earned through tragedy.
Thanks Karen!
So much quiet emotion here. You did a great job of conveying the character’s balance between fear and acceptance. What a difficulty sand would mean for someone using a wheelchair — something most of us never have to think about. and I can well imagine that someone with those experiences of dust would prefer the risk of water instead.
Thanks joy.
Very poignant.
Thanks Bear!
What a great descriptive piece, Andrea. I like to think he won’t be done in by the tides… His double-wide will keep him safe and happy.
Thanks Dale. Long reply, sorry!
I think it takes a certain familiarity with death, to prefer one method of dying over another. But the fact that death is top of this character’s mind, even while he’s counting his blessings, worries me.
Sadly, Key West, a much larger island than Middle Torch Key, didn’t do so well during the last direct hit hurricane. Irma. this may explain why there are so many manufactured homes in the Google Maps for Middle Torch. ther permanent residences may have been washed out to sea.
On September 10, 2017, Irma made landfall at Cudjoe Key and resulted in 17 fatalities in the Keys alone and 84 in all of Florida. The Keys took a while to reopen for business, and I recall seeing substantial damage to residential properties up and down the keys afterwards on the news.
Reading the monroe county Special Needs Registry webpage (which serves, among others, people in wheelchairs) there is a shelter on Key West itself for Category 1 storms (the least severe ones) but above that, the county arranges transport out of the keys to Miami for those on the registry who need transport and let them know.
In certain storms the Keys, from Miami to Key West, are under mandatory evacuation because they are so low-lying. And unfortunately, a trailer is no match for a strong hurricane.
I remember hearing the caretaker Of Hemmingway’s House in Key West being interviewed before Irma hit. He was going to ride out the storm, because somebody had to take care of all those six-toed cats! Lucky for him, house and cats survived.
Sorry to be so negative. This time of year is full of worries. I think this guy’s best bet is to evacuate. I just dont know if he will.
I think it does, too.
Irma did a lot of damage, that is for sure.
Dear Andrea,
Beautiful and sensitively written piece. I hope that perhaps he has a service dog to keep him company.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle. Yes, I think I see one loping around the corner up there. Perhaps a K-9, put out to pasture??
yikes – nice job with this respectful Veteran’s piece. Made me sad – and grateful for what our servicemen have done and still do.
Thanks Prior. Its hard to imagine what vets go through, and then, what strength it takes afterwards, for them to re-adapt to civilian life.
I agree
and you tugged at my heart starting at the “build a ramp”
It was a challenge to write this, alluding to his wheelchair and his disability, but not naming them as such. It was not my intention to provoke pity, but rather, an appreciation for the sacrifice heroically made. I hope that is how it spoke to your heart.
That is how it came across – wow – I see it now as I read the comment –
Great hopeful vignette here.
Thanks J Hardy