
“The Venice o’ the South,” Augustine muttered, shaking his head. “Jesus.”
“People have to eat in this town. People forget that. ”
He shifted some cartons to grab his barge pole. His baby was brimming today.
Beady eyes peered down from a tie-off on the tight-squeeze canal.
“You ain’t gettin’ nothin’ today!” he roared. The seagull squawked and took off.
He eased by the fatly-packed but empty craft of his rival.
“Looks like this early bird caught a worm,” he sneered, and slid on down to market.
The bird was a perfect touch, and though I had to pause to consider it, I took “packed and empty” as a metaphor for his life.
What a deep reading! Thank you Jan. When looked at that way, it could describe many of our lives, I’m afraid.
Seagulls are pesky things for sure. Loved the voice in your tale.
Yes, Fatima! Such a lovely photo you provided for us! Hope I didn’t go too far afield, imagining it as more a Southern U.S town, pushing its Venice-like attributes to pull in the tourist trade. Must have been a wonderful trip! I’m glad you enjoyed Augustine’s manner. Difficult characters can be hard to like. Or perhaps he was just having a bad day.
Fatly-packed but empty. Interesting.
Yes I wondered about that phrase, “fatly-packed but empty craft,” but I liked the sound of it too much to cut it. Hopefully it conveyed meaning, too.
Augstine sounds like a piece of work. 🙁
Sandra, I can see how he might not be everyone’s cup of tea. But he is all business!
Your piece brought to life the sounds of people and birds squawking at one another, the rivalry among tradesmen. Nicely done.
Yes, not sure the people living along the canal were happy about all that noise! Thank you for reading ALicia!
Somebody got out of bed the wrong side this morning!
I like the parallel you draw between the gull and the boatmen, with “Looks like this early bird caught a worm,”
Yes indeed,Penny! Thank you for noticing the parallels.
A great piece with great insight to his character Andrea. Very well pieced together.
Thank you Lisa.
You gave us good insight to his character, Andrea. I love that. Life ain’t always easy, nor is it pretty.
Thank you Russell. Very true, your comment about Life.
There must be better ways to earn a living… then again, thievery can be quite lucrative…
Opportunity knocks, huh, Dale?
Dear Andrea,
The competition is apparent. Just for the record, I understood ‘packed and empty’. 😉 Love the voice in this.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle. Capitalism is not always pretty. ?. Im afraid in my life as in my writing i tend to go for the understated and rely on the power of implication, perhaps more than i should. It has gotten me in trouble more than once. ?
He doesn’t seem a very nice person, what with all his sneering and yelling.
Perhaps he and your executive type have something in common. ?
How is the craft both fatly packed and empty?
Full of stuff but no one on board. ?
I liked the hawking seagull
Yes I think they’ve met before!
Doesn’t seem to have the romance of Venice, for sure! 🙂
Haha Iain!