{This is a response to a prompt from Friday Fictioneers. Friday Firctioneers is a 100-word challenge based on the photo given. Thank you for the prompt and thank you for reading!}
For her fourteenth birthday, Nell’s mother left her an orphan.
Under Mom’s bed lay an origami set. Neatly wrapped.
Colorful. Stiff. Enduring.
Unlike most things.
Meadowbrook allowed quiet toys.
But soon, Nell tired of following directions. Both solid and dotted lines became silent tyrants.
Instead, she kept her wishes folded up, in a jar.
She’d toot her own paper horn, unfold one, and try to appease her 14-year-old self.
Birthday after birthday.
Placement after placement.
Life was only, in this one respect, predictable.
Alone, on her fiftieth, Nell clutched the furrowed paper.
“Go home,” it commanded.
Two words, signifying nothing.
Of Roses
Geez, it seems she had nothing but heartache her whole life.
Yes a bit dark this time, sorry.
“For her fourteenth birthday, Nell’s mum left her an orphan” – a chilling first line . Would be a good start to a book.
gramswisewords.blogspot.com
Thank you mrs Marian!
Ah, poor Nell! A touching story, Andrea!
Thank you Piyali!
So sad.. Even after being successful she is not happy. She doesn’t know what home is. So touching.
Thank you Anshu. This one was meant to pull your heartstrings.
Such a sad life, she has led… well written and poignant
Thank you Dale.
Dear Andrea,
Such a poignant tale in few words. I hope “Go Home” happens for her. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Me too, Rochelle. Life is full of valleys, but usually on the other side there is a hill, with a spectacular view. ?
I read this too quickly the first time and was confused but was really touched the second time through when I realized this child was going from home to home. I love the final message. Well done.
Thank you Alicia
That last line is the tragedy – that the word home could be meaningless. Even if the location changes, many of us have people that mean home, no matter where they are or how far away. Poor Nell has no one. Sad, rather sobering little tale Andrea, but you told it so well
Thank you Lynn. I would not wish this fate on anyone. But perhaps life has more in store for her. ?
My pleasure Andrea
This idea is great. Makes the reader think. A very fine job indeed!
Thank you lisa!
That opening sentence is great – stark but great.
Thank you, I was playing on the idea of “leaving” a gift for someone, though “leaving”in this way is no gift at all, and the act “left” her parentless.
A sorrowful tale sensitively told. Excellent Andrea.
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Thank you so much Keith.
What a sad story, but well-written.
Thank you. I’m running the gamut of emotions this month, it seems.
Anyone who’s been displaced would wince at those two words. Sad that she never felt settled by 50.
Im sure a dramatist like you will also recognize the very last two words, and the Hamlet speech I borrowed them from. ?
what a sad life. he might as well be dead.
Im sorry this went so dark. I just meant to show how being shifted from home to home might make you lose sight of what home once meant to you. I would hope that the narrator would push past this into a more hopeful space.
That sounds like tough but good advice
It is quite the opposite of how I feel, Neil! I’d hate to be pushed to the point where I felt that way.
Beautifully done, Andrea – so thought provoking.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thank you Susan. Heavily influenced by binge-watching the latest Netflix production “Bosch”, from the Michael McConelly book. Somewhat condemnatory of foster care. And featuring one of the world’s weirdest artists, Heironymous Bosch.
Yes, it is a lovely ritual to remember those who smoothed our way in life, even if it has since turned rocky. Thanks!
I like the idea of Nell taking her mother’s last present out every year. Sad but poignant.
Very sad to have no permanent home. The only predictability in life, that everything will continue to change.
Yes. I’m afraid I took a very cheerful picture and went the opposite way. ?