{This is a response to the Friday Fictioneers 100 word challenge. Thank you for the prompt and thank you for reading, swimmers and non-swimmers alike!}
Webs of light bounced over the tile walls. Erratically, as if volleyed back and forth, on a chlorine breeze.
Lila lay on her back, effortlessly hoisted up, on strong, liquid shoulders.
Solitary. Floating. Recovering.
Lost in dreams, she half-surrendered to sleep, while gentle ripples nudged her turquoise cradle.
The other girls at swim practice had somewhere to go. Cheer-leading. Boyfriends, even. Although each was barely fifteen.
For now, for Lila, the pool sufficed.
Through meshed eyelashes, she half-perceived a hint of ghostly movement. Stirring, she scanned the bleachers.
Her near-sighted gaze revealed nothing. She floated calmly on, as if alone.
Dear Andrea,
I felt every wave and liquid shoulders. There’s no greater solitude than being in the water.
Shalom,
Rochelle
True, Rochelle.
As if alone… this sounds like someone is stalking her.
Yes, I think someone is definitely in the room with her.
Oh no! “As if alone,” does not bode well. I’m nervous. Well built suspense! =)
Thank you Brenda. Im getting the impression i lulled my audience into a false sense of security…?
You captured a tranquil feeling. Like Granonine, I liked “Hoisted up on strong, liquid shoulders.” A protector of sorts.
Thanks Tannile.
“Hoisted up on strong, liquid shoulders.” Lovely line, beautiful piece of writing.
Thank you so much, granonine.
Beautiful descriptions, Andrea. I felt myself relax… Nearsightedness is definitely a plus for keeping calm. And anyway, for all we know that ghostly presence is a friendly one…
True Dale. Much of the story is left untold.
It was all sounding rather tranquil until it appears that perhaps she’s not as alone as she thinks…
Bingo! Thanks draliman.
I like the way your story ended.
Thank you, Ms Jade! A little jolt at the end.:)
You are very welcome, Andrea.
me thinks being nearsighted can help one to stay calm. 🙂
Especially in thepresence of ghostly movement. ?
I felt as if I was relaxing in the water with her. Lovely, thought provoking piece.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thanks Susan! Swimming can be very soothing.