{This is a response to a prompt from What Pegman Saw, a 150-word challenge based on a Google Maps location. This time we are in The Baths, The British Virgin Islands. Thank you for the prompt and for reading. And I hope you warm to my character, and that this helps warm all those, stuck in the frigid cold! }
The massive granite boulder, white as the noonday sun, lunged helplessly toward the shore. Headfirst, like a beached Moby Dick, gasping for breath.
But Otto was no whaler. He was here for a story. It would require that he abandon his flip-flops and his dignity, and venture fearlessly into Celestial Cave, inside Moby. The hiding place of the Bermuda Rubies.
Otto glanced at his dime store watch, water-resistant to 20 feet. Only an hour left, until the cave filled completely with seawater, the battering waves making egress impossible. He patted his waterproof DSLR, equipped with a long zoom lens. It hung limply, over the pale bulge of his beer belly.
For years, he had watched his career and reputation erode. If this tip panned out, and he caught the thief retrieving the jewels, on camera, the world would be his oyster.
He waded out through the turquoise water towards redemption.
Otto is quite a character. His motives will make him or break him, me thinks. I found myself easily standing beside him, experiencing his emotional highs and lows. Supremely well written, Andrea. Top drawer!
Thank you ever so much Kelvin. There is definitely some risk to this endeavor, but I’m rooting for him to come back for his flip-flops! Hope you enjoyed the sand between your toes.:)
So beautifully described, Andrea. I was there with Otto. I hope he manages to capture his winning shot!
Thank you Dale! Can’t ask for more, than to have the joy of transporting a Canadian to the Virgin Islands in mid February!:)Stay warm!
This was great. i loved he image of the camera on his beer belly! I hope he got his man ?
Thanks Christine. I hope he nabs the thief too. too. As for the image, there is clearly more than one great white whale in this story.:)
A great finish as the trap is set to be sprung leaving The unanswered question.? I enjoyed reading this .?
Thank you John! Very true. Though I’m not sure who will be entrapped: the thief, or Otto.
Hey, lovely writing! What a great start – “The massive granite boulder, white as the noonday sun, lunged helplessly toward the shore. Headfirst, like a beached Moby Dick, gasping for breath.” I liked the details you chose to make Otto come alive – the dime store watch, for example. And I like that this is a cliffhanger – will he catch the thief? Will the tide trap him? Super story, Andi!
Thank you Penny! I thought the boulder, seen in this way, was a fitting symbol for Otto’s own washed-up self, if one can cite a symbol(ie Moby Dick) as a symbol.:) Also the quest to catch the great white whale, the ultimate conquest, parallels Otto’s own ambition, in the likelihood of success, in the magnitude of the task, and in the danger associated it. Perhaps. even, in his mad determination. And, of course, in his abundance of blubber.:)
Dear Andrea,
Here’s hoping things pan out for him. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle! He probably is due a stroke of luck!
What a great character! All the subtle details really had me rooting for Otto. Now I need to know more!
Also love that picture you captured.
Thank you Karen. I’m trying follow that old writer’s advice, and trust the reader more. Little details swell in a reader’s mind to make complete, yet beautifully idiosyncratic, pictures. And we shouldn’t mess too much with that process. ?
As for the the picture: abandoned clothing always seems to tell a tale.
In the first paragraph, I describe a very large white boulder surrounded by water which was also somewhere within google maps. What a lovely place. We dont have many rocks, of any size, here. ?
I like the detail about the watch.The ocean has a way of putting us all in our place. Well told.
Very true about the ocean.
As my husband immediately commented, upon hearing the story, “You know, a watch that iswater-resistant to 20 feet (under water) is not that good of a watch. ”
I know. ?
Good that he succeeded. 🙂
I think the jury is still out on whether he will succeed in catching the thief coming back for the jewels. But he is willing to try, and that’s something!