The room was full of reproaches.
Sandra slung a bag over her shoulder and slipped on flip-flops. The screen door banged behind her. She’d only be a minute.
The long wooden boardwalk begged her to go barefoot. Her feet shuffled, slippery with grit, making the sound of soft admiring whispers.
Dune sunflowers smiled on either side. Proud mansions, the town’s vanguard against hurricanes, guarded the beachhead. Contrarian. Unphased. And un-insurable.
All Sandra wanted was a flat horizon. Blue water. Blank sand. Waves occasionally lapping her toes, like a friendly puppy.
For now, this kingdom was hers.
The sun rose, obligingly.
This was a joy to read. I loved the lines, Dune sunflowers smiled on either side and Waves occasionally lapping her toes, like a friendly puppy. Makes you want to get away and be somewhere peaceful too.
I was trying to contrast the depressing nature of “the same four walls”, the cluttered house, screaming for attention; and the freedom from worry, when immersed in Nature’s bounty. You can be a slave to drudgery and duty, or a free, even a commanding spirit, in Nature. Travel or a change of scenery can often give you the same feeling. Can you tell I need some time away?:)
I loved the opening line with the room full of reproaches and I sensed her spirits rising as she made her way to the lapping water.
Thank you Jilly! The line occurred to me as I sat in my own, rather too cluttered, living room. Been a bit neglectful of housework, since I discovered Friday Fictioneers and Pegman. Priorities!
Beautifully done, Andrea. Those descriptions pulled me in and I wanted to be Sandra!
Thanks Dale. I think there is something refreshing about contrasts. The contrast between a fussy, messy room and a serene beach drew me beyond the roofs to the sea.
Great imagery.
Thank you Lisa!
Dear Andrea,
This note was on my page this morning from Ellen Best:
Good morning Rochelle or maybe evening where you are … I am unable to leave a comment on no. 50 under the blue frog, 4963AndyPop (an error code prevented it) so I leave my comment with you in hope that she sees it.
A stunning write, I am sure I heard the shush of the sea as I settled beside you; quietly absorbing the ambience.
Her link is https://ellenbest24.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/4566/
Shalom,
Rochelle and Ellen 😉
Thank you Rochelle and so sorry to you and Ellen if my site is sending up error signals. I will have to look into it. Her comment did go through on my site, so I assume it was a temporary issue.
Very descriptive, Andrea. I loved it 🙂
Thanks Piyali!
I had to tweet this. A stunning write, I am sure I heard the
hush of the sea as I settled beside you; quietly absorbing the ambience.
Thank you Ellen! Perfectly ok by me to tweet! Sorry you had trouble posting. I appreciate your persistence!
A stunning write, I am sure I heard the shush of the sea as I settled beside you; quietly absorbing the ambience.
The ocean is always a sight to behold.Thank you Ellen!
sounds like a nice kingdom to have!
Yes Sascha, I agree.
You had me right there on the boardwalk, heading toward my favorite place.
Glad to help you get there, linda:)
I really enjoyed reading this! Nicely done.
Thank you camie. These flash fiction challenges are such fun. Been a bit remiss on the homeschooling posts but hope to do one soon! Have a great summer!
Beautifully descriptive, Andrea. Long live the Queen of her own domain.
Yes, for the moment anyway. I fear this empire is not likely to stay quiet, or hers alone, for long. ?
Beautiful word smithy.
Thank you yarnspinnerr!
Lovely, we all just need to get away from it all sometimes.
Yes. It sounds like she doesn’t have far to go.
Tweeted this, i simply had to.
By all means. I followed you on Twitter too.
Dear Andrea,
Such a descriptive piece. I felt like I was strolling along the boardwalk with her.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Good, Rochelle. Sometimes just being (or imagining we are) in a calm place is enough to regenerate us.
You’ve produced some very elegant writing here. I particularly liked “The room was full of reproaches” and “Contrarian. Unphased. And un-insurable” and “The sun rose, obligingly”. (A triumphant assertion that sometimes adverbs are GOOD!)
Thanks so much Penny. It is not always in the nature of us Americans to be elegant (you haven’t seen me eat spaghetti), so I’m blushing. 🙂 Glad you liked the phrasing. And I agree. I am probably overly fond of adverbs!
Lovely imagery throughout 🙂
Thank you draliman!
I liked bare feet “making the sound of soft admiring whispers.”
Thank you Neil. I’m happy you liked it. I certainly thought yours was beautiful.