The Very Model (Parody)

This is a companion piece to my recent essay, A Literary Citizen. Best if hummed to the tune of “A Modern Major General” by Gilbert and Sullivan.

I read at least a book a month

And go to bookclub without fail,

Discussing all the ins and outs,

The themes and tropes of every tale,

I read the local authors

And review them without pity, and

I am the very model

Of a Literary Citizen.

I have a group I go to every week

And bring my thousand words.

We go around the table, sharing fables,

Some are quite absurd,

We giggle and we drink and then

We share a kind critique again.

I am the very model

Of a Literary Citizen.

I blog about the reading I

Attended just the other day.

I share a post on social and

Promote their latest giveaway.

I link back to their Amazon–

I’d never cast aspersions on–

I am the very model

Of a Literary Citizen.

And when I hear a conference will come,

I buy a dozen tix.

I sign right up to volunteer,

Though it’s like eating Wheat-A-Bix.

Attending readings by the ton,

And buying books from everyone,

I am the very model

Of a Literary Citizen.

And should I never publish,

Should I never see the light of day

Upon my writing, still, I wouldn’t

Have it any other way.

No one may see me in my den,

Or read what flows forth from my pen,

But I’m the very model

Of a Literary Citizen.

Copyright Andrea LeDew 2023

For another less than funny song parody about gun violence, read and hum Unpreventable Still.